


Ettes

by HoodienChaos



Category: Super Mario & Related Fandoms, Super Mario Bros. (Video Games)
Genre: Angst and Humor, Childhood Friends, Friendship, Gen, Gender Identity, Gender Issues, Genderbending, Original Character(s), Trans Female Character, Transformation
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-23
Updated: 2020-11-25
Packaged: 2021-03-08 23:55:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 7,571
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27164870
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HoodienChaos/pseuds/HoodienChaos
Summary: After the defeat against the mario bros and the new form of toadette, Bowser decides to experiment with the strange "super crown" power up to figure a way to exploit it. However it goes horribly wrong.
Comments: 4
Kudos: 10





	1. Prologue: Pink spores

The whirl of the airship rang throughout the hull as the constant sounds of moment filled the metal hull with life. There was an air of frantic panic as crew mates tossed and maneuvered through the tight scheduling, It was once again a sudden take off ordered by King Bowser himself. Of course he always made the time needed to fly the ship, ultra crunch time. It was taking off now, worrying about supplies later, and no one was always sure if the supplies would last.

However this story _wasn't_ about the crew mates; not about the koopas, the shy guys, bullet bills or even some of the Wigglers just trying to ride back home to the jungle. It was about a cargo bay, a magic machine and one bad idea. It was about the room the crew and staff avoided the room which occasionally lit up with magic and caused more unease, about a duo of koopas messing around with an item sitting on a crate.

And about one Royal Advisor trying to give actual advice.

“ _Master Bowser I’m trying… tRyING, to tell you this is the worst idea you’ve had yet- and not in the flattering way, as the TRUE definition of worst_!” Kamek nagged and squawked as he flew around, he seemed nearly desperate in stopping this from happening. The item in question was this odd crown looking thing, it had the energy that most power ups had but it was.. different. The pink little mushroom girl had used it before to turn into a peach look-a-like and had the same powers. It was important and Bowser was willing to keep zapping it with the magic machine he cooked up over the weekend.

 **“Come on Kamek, Have a sense of adventure. All my good plans have gone up in smoke worse and worse. What’s the worst one BAD plan can do? You think up bad plans all the time.** ” The King guffawed at his own jab as he watched the machine do its work, it changed the crowns shape and materials to see if it would behave differently. While the crown was being zapped Kamek seemed to squawk out again “ _SiR!_ ” He seemed insulted by the gall! The rudeness! The nerve! The gumption! Dictionary! Terms! “ _If you’re this PerSiStENT! Then I’ll just involve myself somewhere else so I won’t have to watch this blow up!_” He crossed his arms and held his beak in the air, acting childishly like how the whole scenario was. Childish, and reckless.

The Crown however seemed to change before his very eyes, turning into different things; A Burning flame, shocks of electricity, then hardening into metal, the Metal collapsing into dirt which grew flowers, the flowers which froze into ice, the ice which melted into water and the water which oozed into a weird pool of grey metal which had a rainbow hue shining off of it as the ooze reversed itself back into a crown as it vibrated. Bowser looked back to Kamek as he gestured “ **See? We’ve already discovered something new about it** ” seeing that Kamek had hid behind a crate at this point he rolled his eyes back to the crown “ **That’s probably something useful we do with it. What was that, spell 87? 89?** ”

Kamek called out from behind the crate, not even risking peaking as he called out “ _If I were you, WhICh I’m NoT, I’d be ducking for cOver!_ ” Famous words before disaster, the vibrating crown seemed to start expanding. The Crown’s expanding was like something was pumping it with air as it kept vibrating, eventually getting over twice its original size. It was only a matter of time until it gave in to the pressure, and in a flash. There was an explosion of pink, accompanied with the sound of metal exploding. Usually with metal exploding, there’d be metal shrapnel hitting things but, there was none of the sort, only spores.

Pink spores that filled the entire room and then some as the draft blew in and started to blow it out to the rest of the ship, the spores finding skin to latch to and started to melt into it. It was slow, slower than the instantaneous feeling most power ups should give, which was reasonable.

It _did_ just blow up in his face, which blinded bowser as he was also choking on a few. “Oh come on! We just got this ship flying again!” He stumbled about, pawing for the off switch before realizing he’d stepped where part of the ship that had been blown off… which was thin air. He stumbled forward, thankfully just landing on a lower deck, unthankfully he also brought spores to the lower deck. The amount of chaos that began on that ship on mere seconds was incredible, it was almost a feat. Screaming, running, and sheer panic as the army was trying to clear the ship of the pink spores as windows and doors were being opened. All the movement caused the ship to sway as bowser was trying to get up, coughing some more with an oddly less gruff voice

“Jeez… _EVERYONE ABANDON SHIP!_ ” He called out as the alarms began to blare, blaring loud enough to cause more chaos as more of the army went down to try to help air the ship. The panic rivaled the spores in how thick it made the air as bowser tried to continue “PARATROOPAS TAKE ANYONE WITHOUT TRANSPORT OUT AN- _BWA?!_ ” Trying to gain balance, he fell off balance and ended up falling straight out of the window on the next shake as he could only feel a pair of hands grab his. Someone tried to grab him to try to stop the fall but alas, in the end, he fell out of the ship and several others followed as a cloud of pink spores flew out like a cloud of anarchy.

Flying through the air, on the wind to create mayhem beyond what could be seen. Thankfully his eyes worked enough to see the last of the fall before hitting the ground and blacking out, the ground more unforgiving than usual. Hey it wasn’t his problem more than likely and bowser was unconscious for a while, it was probably for several hours. The sun shone the entire time it seemed, there was this warmness to it as the tropical winds breezed by. The jungle undergrowth felt soft and uh, leafy. Not that it mattered too much what grass felt like, since there was a hand patting the king’s cheek as a soft voice paired with it. Soft spoken, feminine, and twinged with a nervousness as the words weren’t able to be connected… it was unfocused, like it was too far away to actually understand. This eventually changed when the pat turned into a hard slap as another voice spoke; Rough, Curt, to the point.

“Wake up”


	2. The Meeting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Falling from airships is a tiring endeavor, but the koopa King gets to see that he wasn’t the only one to fall from the airship.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Honestly I’m kinda buzzing happily at getting the first official chapter done! I’m sorry if these chapters are a bit short, but I’m glad it’s well perceived so far!

Bowser groaned, groggily snipping back with “uggh… what who you’re talking to-” putting a hand through his hair, noticing it was oddly softer and practically enveloped his…. Very feminine looking hand, there were still some yellow scales on it but it was definitely smaller. The human koopa queen stared at the hand for a good while before giving the meek and confused

“ _Whuh?_ ”

The harsher voice seemed to scuff and curtly cut into the statement with 

“Well try to not sleep out in the jungle like a total idiot”, with the spores gone from bowser’s eyes she could see the harsher voice belonged to a black haired woman; she was a bit of a string bean, pale skin, jet black eyes and red eye shadow like markings that gave her a bright contrast verses the dull colors the rest of her had. The other girl fretted at this

“You _can’t_ just slap someone who fell from an airship! You have no idea what could have happened!!” she was a bit more… yellow? She had a warmer tone to her, with her light orange hair, her red orange eyes, she was just orange splashed with red as the white flower on the side of her head and her softer body made her have a warm and welcoming aura…

Granted considering they were both nude this was all that could be gathered. Bowser just let out a “buh”, as she looked down. No shell, no clothes of any sort- save for her signature spike bracelets which were a bit big and hung like bangles. She could only poke at her own chest, still processing what she was experiencing as the dark haired one huffed

“It’s just a koopa, it’s not like they’re going to die from a fall or a _slap_ of all things. Pretty sure they could stroll through the underwhere like it was a walk in the park”

The softer one shook her head at her harsher friend before noticing the confusion, sighing 

“I’m so sorry you have to wake up so rudely, you must be very confused. Maybe we should start over, a bit more… friendly this time!” she said optimistically as she gave the biggest smile she could manage 

“Hi! My name is Lola, this is my friend Joan-” “ _Jean_ , it’s Jean.” the other corrected as she was getting aggravated at all the small talk, voicing why she was.

“It’s idiotic to introduce ourselves in possibly hostile territories, naked, defenseless, and without shelter. We should correct at least one of those before we start any pleasantries” 

Lola wanted to say something about this before remembering that she was, indeed nude, before keeping quiet about it as she crossed her arms in hopes of covering herself and saving herself from embarrassment. She couldn’t argue for multiple reasons, especially not against Joan so she looked back to bowser as if the interruption didn't happen.

“What’s your name?”

Bowser shook her head, her hair floofed about annoyingly 

“What do you mean what’s my name? Can’t you tell who you’re even talking to?!” the royal koopa! The brute behind the bowser kingdom! The legendary fire breathing koopa! She tried to breathe fire to prove her awesomeness. . . to only breath hot air into Jean’s face, Jean sitting there with her face scrunched in disgust mixed with anger as she checked to see if there was spit on her face. Bowser gave a confused blink at this action.

“Hold on let me try that again, _Raaaaaaah!_ ” Still nothing, just the hilarious and pathetic sounding roar followed by a wheeze as she tried to wheeze out

“I’m king bowser” she coughed out a barely audible gasp as she got light headed from all the exhaling, this made lola very concerned as she asked as sincerely as possible 

“Are we supposed to know who you are? I’m sorry if that seems mean to ask but you don’t seem familiar.. Also i uh.. Didn't catch that last part, please repeat that- when you get your breath again of course!.. of course”

Jean glared the entire time as she snapped with “it really, really doesn’t matter, it’s probably some hotshot koopa who thinks they’re too good for us. **Let’s. Move**.” She got onto her stomach and began to… army crawl, without using her legs to do the movement at least. 

Bowser coughed and realized how embarrassing this all was, she’d keep quiet about who she was until she did something cool. 

“So you were both on the ship right?” She asked Lola “you didn’t get too hurt escaping did you?” She tried to fold her arms but kept fighting, since she normally didn’t have the protrusions of boob to deal with and she was having trouble finding a pose that felt comfortable with her weight more in the front than usual as Lola processed she was being asked a question about the ship, nodding and laughed nervously.

“Yes I- we were both on the ship, I tried to help someone who was falling but I ended up falling myself. I guess that’s sort of lame huh?” She scratched her head before trying to get up, using a tree to balance herself, uncertain about the balancing but she seemed to coach herself with a mumble

“I’m not used to being upright when I’m walking but I guess I’m going to have to get used to it. Right, right, we can do this!” She was ready to take that first step, ready to make a move and she did make a move alright! She fell with the first step and began to roll, alas, rolling down the hill of the jungle with a shrill scream.

Jean flinched at the scream as she only could see the blur of her friend with a groan “ _#$*@ it all_ ”

“Quick, we shouldn’t leave her on her own like that!” She commanded as she slid down to join Lola, she was more used to changing sizes so she wasn’t completely unbalanced, only stumbling a little as the poor rolling girl was rolling fast enough to where her face turned red.

She gave noises the entire time that surpassed comprehension, until hitting the tree and released an exhale as she laid there. Bowser made her way carefully to see if Lola was alright, exhaling in relief when the meek girl said 

“I maaaaaade iiiiiiit!”

Everything seemed alright, Joan was crawling her way over slowly, it was gonna be-

The Duo of Misfortune ended up in a net trap, being slung up into the air as Lola screamed out in distress.

“WHO MADE THIS TRAP AND WHY?!?”

the unfortunate koopa Queen could only look unamused as she shook her head, commenting with a snarky 

“Yeah.. this is easily the third worst day of my life…”

Lola very carefully pulled at the ropes, trying to see how durable it was considering that the both of them weren’t exactly the most lightweight duo. 

“I hope the other two days were horrible enough where it can’t be topped by irony… I mean at least I hope you were- sorry sorry” Lola shook her head before her nervous rambling was interrupted by rustling.

Usually depending on what jungle you’re in, you'd run into some nice people! And then there were spear guys who were more than willing to skewer you for the fun of it, Lola could only give a prayer under her breath that the spear guys weren’t the silhouettes that began to move around and surround the trap.

Some of them have a familiar shape of the ~~lovable~~ despicable dinosaur that Mario liked to hang around with, while others seemed to have a more humanoid shape to them.

“What’s your business here strange ones??” Asked one of the silhouettes as bowser could only snort at this, Yoshis? Really??

“Oh we were just dropping in, thought this would be a nice trip for the fall” answering as sardonically as possible before pulling at the net and caused it swing around as the more nervous one of the duo squeaked at the sudden swinging

“ ** _Let me out you lizard brains!_** ” Bowser yelled as Lola tried to suggest

“M,, maybe um… maybe we shouldn’t upset the locals, they could get angry”

She was right, they could and did get angry. Most of the group had spears they aimed at the net as they came into view, it was weird to see Yoshis of all people with spears. Usually they could eat things and be done with it, or they resolved to end things peacefully… they might have been affected by the spores in a similar way.

They at least had a decent countermeasure for the naked problem, some of them had loincloths and eggshells to cover the bits. Others wore bandages and leaves there instead, it wasn’t perfect but it was definitely better than nothing.

A normal Cyan yoshi called out “Are you chumps with bowser?? Is he behind this pink sickness stuff!?”

“ _Let them get angry! **I’ll get Angrier!**_ ” Bowser yelled to Lola as she was pressing her face through the net and yelled at the Yoshis 

“You think Bowser would waste his time with you punks? Unless you got a princess in your tribe you’re not even worth him looking at your island!” She barked it out with the satisfaction of knowing that they weren’t even worth her time most of the time, although it seemed to draw out the “leader” of the group into view.

It was a woman with poofy black hair with some white undercuts, she had big brown eyes and a silent anger splashed on it. She wore bandages and a loincloth with feathers in her hair, her spear doubled as a walking stick. 

She spoke with authority mixed with spite.

“Good to know that you are affiliated with him, don’t waste your time and breath speaking with the two. Throw them with the other infected still within the net” she commanded as the cyan yoshi spoke with some confusion in his voice.

“But- But why can’t we just leave them there??”

“... because despite not being worth his time, we’re not going to stoop to his level. The airship has been gone for at least a day, and I doubt they’ll come back for some insignificant members of the army.”

She said as some of the infected yoshi girls were climbing up to take the net down, letting the duo drop pretty hard. Lola could only say the only thing that came to her mind.

“ _I’m too young to be a prisoner of war!!_ ”


	3. Yoshi Village

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Being “prisoners of war” is a lot more of a downer than bowser thought

Yoshi island was a beautiful place, really, beautiful skies and luscious grass..

Being dragged across the grass however, unenjoyable, truly.

The atmosphere of the village as they were brought in was tense, there was the lingering dread that fogged the usually happy and cheery atmosphere. Especially where the duo were being taken to as they got to see the ramifications of the spores.

Some of the Yoshis looked perfectly normal, there were several that were stuck in this half and half limbo, and then there were full on yoshi girls. The half and half group were more seen in the quarantine, as the spot was cleared and was filled with a clustered amount of the spores. The yoshis in the quarantine were mostly still transferring to whatever form they were going to be stuck in for a while.

There was one sad sight, an egg in quarantine that sat there surrounded by other eggs. The leader of the group, the one that was filled with so much spite before... held the egg with a look of pain and sorrow. 

It was more than likely hers.

Bowser could only watch all of this quietly, almost heartbroken by the mood of everything... It lasted an hour or so before she plainly said

“This sucks.” 

Lola sat there next to bowser, her brows furrowed in absolutely worry. Her thoughts slipped out in words

“What happened to Joan... I hope she’s ok”

The yoshis guarding the quarantine patients were getting silent and smaller in number, until the duo could see the short black hair making its way over as Lola smiled widely.

“ _Joan?!_ ”

“ _shhh_ ” Joan gave harshly, with bowser pressing against the net as she rasped “ _you sure took your time_ ” Joan growled under her breath with her face twisted in aggravation 

“I had to take out the guards and crawl my way here. _Of course I took a while, what’s your excuse?_ ”

She began to cut at the ropes as the nagging Queen griped “We were IN a NET” as Joan freed the duo, allowing bowser to pull at the net as she putting it over herself as a makeshift shell, giving a smile at the comfort it gave her. 

“Lola, you want your net or can I have it??”

Lola blinked at that and said absent minded, or maybe more so baffled at the whole situation as Joan made sure it was cut enough for the group can be freed. Her eyes shifted around as she grunted 

“Ok we’re gonna have to probably fight out way out of here, prepare yourselves for that.” She was beginning to use the spears to hoist herself up like they were crutches, it seemed a bit weird but it was proof she couldn’t used to having legs. Lola watched this in excitement at the idea of Joan adjusting in this weird situation before Joan said.

“Its hustle time, _let’s go_ ”

Joan turned to see a yoshi guard there... looking stunned at the release...

The air was incredibly tense at this strange little stare down, it took Joan very carefully shifting her spear as if trying to move forward for the Yoshi to start screaming on the top of their lungs. Bowser could only mutter under the new sound.

“ _Greeeeeat_ rescue, Joan.” She had now fashioned the two nets into a rope woven shell on her back, it didn’t cover anything but it helped her balancing with its new weight. She scooped up Joan and motioned at Lola to run for the exit with her.

Joan seemed to look bamboozled at being picked up, her hair frizzing up slightly as Lola beside the queen of all Koopas. Frozen, mentally accepting that they were caught. Fighting back was not in her vocabulary, making her completely useless in this scenario. In one hand there was a flustered girl and in the other there was a stone statue.

The Yoshis surrounded the group. 

The Plan was going swimmingly!

Bowser sighed and set Joan down, if she couldn’t escape with both her minions... It wasn’t worth it, It took a moment for Joan to snap out of her flustered trance before she aimed the spear at the yoshis surrounding them. Her mouth curled into a sneer, as she was preparing a snark.

“If you want to harm these idiots you’re going to have to go through **me** , and trust me.. **_the underwhere is gonna be full when I’m done with you_** ” 

A big talk that ended up with all 3 of them being locked up in a cage with Joan bound at her wrists and ankles. Ironically the cage was one of the cages from the airship.

. . .

The night seemed to creep along without much else to entertain the group other than a duo talking nearby, not that any of the group other than bowser could see part of the duo... or were awake. 

The bored koopa gal could see only from the chin area to the chest area, although she barely paid attention at first as the person on the left began to speak.

“I apologize if I’m wasting your time in helping others, however I... I wanted to ask about um..” she sounded unsure and.. timid? It was probably the head yoshi from earlier since she was holding an egg. However the other voice perked up the impartial koopa as she heard the soft voice she always chased after 

“Oh no no.. please feel free to ask anything, I’m here to make this process a bit easier on you all.” That blond hair spilling out over, the soft lips.. it was unclear but it surely looked like the princess. The feather wearing woman’s voice was cracking very slightly, admitting what was ailing her 

“... I was laying my egg when the pollen struck, and usually our eggs hatch rapidly... but this one... _isn’t_. I know that it’s a tad silly to be worrying about it not hatching in a day, however... will it cause...” she definitely was cracking more and more as the words were getting caught up in her throat, she didn’t want to finish the very thought. Very idea of the most horrible thing... to the thing she held close to her.

“I’m sorry, this is my first child. I’m just.. worried about their fate”

“Gosh.. no wonder you’re so worried. May I please see it? I just need to check on it to be sure, but I have a good feeling that things will be alright.” She had the concern in her voice that was enough to confirm that it did, sound like the concern that bowser knew. Making her sigh quietly into her hand as she leaned against the wall of her cage. The yoshi seemed to stand there with a blank look to her face, almost like everything took a moment.. but she did hand over her egg over carefully with a nod.

“Of course, I figure you’d have a better handle on this than I would.” She started the obvious but in the end it was all so.. strange to her, but she took a step back as she ruffled her hair in stress.

The careful hands of the blond woman held the egg before she put a stethoscope on it, making idle chatter as she did so. “I know a yoshi back at the castle, before I came here I made certain to learn all I could so I could recognize any oddities.” It prodded a response from the yoshi woman who nodded 

“The chief’s son right? How do you get him to say anything? He’s so.. _quiet_ ”

“I suppose that’s just his charm- oh!” The soft voice exclaimed before giggling with a soft smile as she handed the hand back to its mother

“It’s nothing to be worried about.. the egg I mean, the spores did affect your child but.. turns out she’s just sleeping. Give her time and she’ll break out when she’s hungry”It seemed to make the mother of the egg’s breath hitch as she held the egg, her body very slightly trembled as she bit her lip... but alas it didn’t stop the laughter... or the tears to erupt from her as she sounded so...

Relieved 

“ _I should of known_ , my whole family’s like that.. I guess she’ll be just like that too..” she rubbed the egg “... I’m so glad... that she’s ok of course, so.. thank you”

“Oh no no, please I... well I feel partially responsible for this whole fiasco. I just wanted to do what I could- no, what I _can_ to help out.” The lady walked out of view of the caged bowser for a moment before the yoshi woman grabbed her shoulder, giving reassuring words 

“None of us blame you for what happened, but again. Please, please thank you” The words soaked into the air, causing the blond woman to look back and carefully put her hand on the other one’s hand... 

“... I need to get to work to the next affected settlement, but I’ll make sure the food has an extra helping for your baby. Be sure to write to the castle if you’re low again, since I understand that resources can be harder to get in this state.” She began to walk past the cage, causing bowser to quickly turn away to avoid being noticed. Hiding behind the rope shell as she could only hear the idle chatter return with the usual ending sentiments.

“Be safe”s, “thank you”s, “we’ll repay you”s and the like, something something about water too. All that mattered was that bowser could practically hear the princess’ smile

“Thank you, and I’ll tell the captain to be careful” as she walked away finally...

The woman stood there for a while and exhaled happily, her eyes did trail to the cage but..

In an act of kindness, she left them be and went home to go sleep. Letting the good mood trickle down a precious gift, peace and quiet for the rest of the night.

Albeit it was a *caged* night, it was still a nice night... the blues washing over the trio as the final member had finally gotten into a slumber herself.

Letting tonight... be tonight


	4. Meanwhile on the airship

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a look back to how the airship has been fairing ever since bowser fell off

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wanted to make an update that I will be doing updates every 1st of the month! since it'll be much more easier to write out the fic and make the preview posters if i do it in that way, Btw! If you like this chapter please comment and leave kudos!  
> i would like to see more interaction and thoughts!

A cool night wind seemed to blow over the airship, and most of the troops managed to calm down from the incident. It was awkward for sure, but they were managing. The break room of the ship was a popular spot for the minions to chill out from the grind as they waited for more orders from the king.

Coming into the break room was a koopa who was bringing in a tray of tea with a soft smile as he offered cups to the fellow crew mates there, granted they were crew mates that were transformed... and they all had sodas.

The bully girl seemed to groan as she leaned back with a stomp 

“ _Maaaan_ stuff is super boring! When is King B gonna launch an assault already??” The koopa saw it was a perfect opportunity to speak to his fellow crew mates as he opened his beak- although he was interrupted by a scoff from the hammer bro who motioned to her herself 

“Dude! We’re wearing Charlie’s jerseys! Do you really wanna go attack the castle looking like _this_??” The Jerseys thankfully was big enough to be like a dress on the group of 3 girls sitting there, most of the bigger minions donated their clothes to the less fortunate members of the army.  The girl on the other side of the bully was a rocky wrench, she sat there and traced the lid of the soda... not really liking it all that much anyways, although it didn't mean this whole situation felt.. surreal. She put the soda down on the tray before her as the koopa seemed to brighten up, maybe he could offer her tea!! 

opening his mouth but saw that the mechanic was off in her own world and probably wouldn't be listening as the bully gal spoke up

"Tick Tocky!! Come on, tell us! Which one of us is right? little miss coward or me?" seems like there was an entire argument afoot here, one that caused Tocky to freeze up as she was snapping out of the daze that the scene put her in. however she was able to laugh it off.

"Sorry I wasn't really listening." she waved a hand as the bully's jaw dropped slightly as her hand unfortunately smacked the eavesdropping koopa 

"you can't leave me in the dark like thaaat! I just can't believe you!!" the koopa retreated into his shell as he ended up accidentally bumping into the royal advisor who happened to be traveling down that hallway, causing the magikoopa to screech out. 

" _ StOP GOOFING OFF! _ " 

"yessir!!" called out the girls as they all saluted to him, with the koopa in the shell being kicked by kamek into the cockpit of the ship. causing a pit in the stomach of everyone in the scene.. all except kamek who already had one.

Kamek was following after the spinning shell as he was stewing more over it, he needed a solution to the problem.  _ The minions couldn't ever figure out that bowser was gone. _ it would cause an utter panic, a total hoopla! But HE couldn't just vanish to play bowser, no no he'd be too obvious. His verbal tic would slip through, even through the disguise... plus  **_HE HAD TO BE PRESENT TOO!!!_ ** oh why couldn't the stars send him an escape out of this situation?

"e..excuse me sir, master kamek sir.. I can't get up" said the koopa still on the floor, struggling to get back up. he'd probably been bold to actually ask for help... bold was a start.

" _... correct, you are_ " kamek said as he tapped his claws together, although the koopa looked nervous " _i- i'm sorry i forgot to call you supreme wizard of-_ " the koopa was muttering out as he was struggling to do his best to be as submissive as possible before he was cut off once again.

" _sOfT shELLEd fool, what do they address you as?_ " kamek asked with a little less screech in his voice, almost prodding along the koopa who was trying to flip himself over... finally managing it with an exhale

"m.. uh my name is-" he began and was actually hopeful! Maybe! he could actually begin speaking! opening up! He! He!! was cut off once again!

" _ **INCORRECT!**_ " the koopa was staggering back and looked afraid, waiting for the worst before kamek could finish. " _because for now, you'll be master bowser_ "

The koopa stood there confused and even more nervous, what was even going on?? Kamek was sliding his arm around the koopa troopa's shoulders as the koopa could only mutter "i.. sir i.. i don't understand”

'' _you SEe-_ " kamek coughed a bit " _you see our dear Master Bowser has fallen GrAvely ill.. yes yes fallen ill. He needs the substitute to pretend to be calling the shots while he's recovering_ "

The absolute lie seemed to work on the koopa, twisting his feelings of confusion into unbridled feelings of absolute worry as his brows curled inwards.

"that.. oh that sounds super bad yeah..." he took a deep breath and nodded "then I don't at all mind taking his place for a bit" he probably thought he was being noble, and if he had a choice in the matter.. he would of been. Kamek rolled his eyes as he pushed up the glasses. His wand waving as shapes escaped from it, a spell weaving around the koopa as dust began to kick up. Kamek coughed at the excessive dust as he looked to his replacement for Bowser. 

. . .

Dust had travelled it's way to the break room as the bully scoffed a bit

"man whoever the janitor is has been slacking off a _loooot_! Prolly a loser" 

" **Slackers can't call out other slackers** '” called out a deep voice, it was kinda gruff but not quite there. Standing there however was Bowser who glared at the 3 of them with absolute menace, causing the trio to get up and bow to him. the Rocky Wrench of the group seemed to say the apology for them

" _ s-sorry sir! it won't happen a- _ " 

" **_STOP APOLOGIZING AND GET TO WORK_ ** " yelled out the koopa which caused the trio to scatter, and even for the room to evacuate and get to their posts. standing there in the empty break room was the bowser.. his mouth curling to a toothy grin as his dark grey eyes flashed with some pride, pride that kamek seemed to scoff at. 

" _ don't scare off the troops for no reason SiRe _ '' which caused the substitute to stare blankly and flush as he scratched his head and bowed his head, no doubt that no matter how much like bowser he looked... he was a shy koopa deep down

" **apologies master kamek** " " _ shh AND GET TO WORK _ " Kamek shooed off the nervous substitute to do what he needed to do and exhaled. 

This already felt like a headache in the making


	5. Brawl for Breakfast

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Seems like spores and news travels pretty far, so does shrapnel

The morning seemed to creep in with the rising sun beginning to paint the brisk morning sky, the sounds of birds seemed to go from their tranquil singing to sounds of distress. The island seemed to shake with the loud sound of explosions, the explosion went from soft rumbles that only roused the light sleepers… to escalating to loud explosions that shook most of the village awake, including the sleeping lola who was squeaking awake as she looked around.

Miraculously Bowser hadn’t woken up due to the explosions, neither had Joan who was curled up in a corner of the cage like a cat. Lola shook her head in utter disbelief at the fact the two were able to sleep through that, looking through the bars and saw a trio of women appearing through the smoke.

On the left was a woman with a scope looking weapon, it was definitely child friendly NINTENDO SCOPE ™, don’t worry we aren’t allowed to put in real guns. She was a taller one with a palm tree on her head and wore a suit, her sunglasses sat awkwardly on top of her pompadour. On the left stood a robotic looking girl who was throwing up bob-bombs in both hands, her face was a screen which showed a countdown on it as the key on her head spun a little. In the middle was a woman with patchwork clothes, and a bandana to push her bangs slightly out of her face. Only wielding a smile and a nasally voice.

“Alright you lazy dinosaurs, you’ve been avoiding paying rent for long enough.” Called out the middle one “now either you start layin’ eggs for our breakfast Bill or else we’re gonna start blowing up more houses”

“ House go boom boom! ” called out the robot girl, causing the yoshis of the village to be nervous. None of them were fighters, really, all they knew to do was use their abilities to avoid and end fights quickly. The village couldn’t exactly deflect a trio of bandits who all seemed to know what they were doing, however the unlikely savior of the village was slowly rising to her feet.

"Man! Sounds like Mario's storming the castle early today! What do we got on hand, men?" She was working on early morning autopilot. Lola looked to her before being snapped to Joan who snapped up and saluted with a scream 

“SIR THE CASTLE IS BEING STORMED, PERMISSION TO BE SHOT AT THE ENEMY?” also on her own autopilot, which made Lola slam her head to the bars “are you guys kidding me?”

The lead Yoshi woman was running out of her hut with her spear and was followed by a posse of yoshis whom she commanded “Defend the eggs! Defend the Village and Defend the weak!” simple commands but they were more there to hype up the yoshis who all cheered, all that cheering turned into screams as a bob-omb was thrown at one half of the “troops” and the other half was shot down. Bowser looked around and huffed and then picked up the bullet babe like a small child 

"Joan! How are you progressing with using your legs?"

Joan curled up a little bit and snapped out of it as her face turned red 

“ _ i don’t know how to use them alright! They’re stupid and needless _ ” She ranted childishly before clearing her throat 

“... they’re impractical considering my original function as a Bonzai Bill, now why are you manhandling me??”

The bullet babe’s indignant struggling however caused bowser to chuckle as she was putting her over her shoulder, coaching her minion a bit.

“Think of them as your launcher, get ready. I'm gonna shoot you into the door.” The queen of koopas crouched down as if to aim a back cannon. The whole thought had Joan stiff for a moment until it was processing in her mind, making the corners of her mouth curl up into a devious smile that spread across her face.    
Lola went pallid and was yelling as she flailed her arms 

“NO NO DON’T LAUNCH HER PLEASE!!” Although she ended up leaning back and slamming into the door which made it fly open. The group seemed to stare blankly at this new development before Bowser chuckled.

“O..oh right… We use these cages for peach, the locks are just for show” her chuckle seemed to turn bashful as Joan tried to wiggle out of the grasp as she wasn’t being launched today, annoyed and aggravated at the thought as she complained.

“That's  _ moronic,  _ the princess could escape at any time and render them useless. Plus why would you not put locks but put it over  _ lava??”  _

“..Peach is a polite lady, you be quiet”

Lola had gotten up and was opening the door for the two and asked “could we maybe um.. Help people instead of staying stuck in the cage.” which got bowser to shift the bonzai bitter onto her shell so she could probably get a better view or can at least tag along without crawling everywhere.

The village the trio saw was on fire, not  _ completely  _ but it was enough to call for concern. Alarm came when the leader of the thieves had a bag slung over her shoulder, an egg in her hand and a foot stepping onto the near unconscious yoshi woman the group kept running into. It was probably predictable that the peaceful group were gonna end up like this, but it was tragic to see.

“man you  _ suck _ at this hiding egg thing, but this is gonna be deeeelicious Cra Ha Ha!” 

“...n..no..” the yoshi called out, barely above a whisper as she barely got her consciousness back

The robotic girl made her way to the leader and said "[ Can I fry some eggs now! I’m hungie] ”

The crew’s menacing interaction was quickly interrupted by two powerful feet slamming into the robotic girl, sending enough force to send her flying into a house. The robotic spazz laid there stunned and dazed, the leader of the thugs slowly looked to the one who delivered the kick. Blinking in disbelief as queen koopa herself cracked her knuckles.

“You chumps picked a baaaad place to terrorize first thing in the morning, i don’t like rude awakenings” her eyes glowed with an energy that spelled out the leader’s demise, however the leader cleared her throat and laughed it off.

“Craw ha! You got the nerve to say who we can or can’t terrorize first thing in the morning. We’re just collecting what’s rightfully ours to collect. That ain’t so hard to grasp ain't it?” her eyes trailed down a bit but shot back up, banter like this was going to be hard. Bowser grinned and retorted.

“No, what's not so hard to grasp is I just sent your heavy hitter into a building with one kick. You really wanna see what i can do to you?” She snorted which was meant to shoot fire out her nostrils but instead just made her seem slightly dorky, if not still a dork that could backdrop a chain chomp for fun.

“Oh congrats, you hit  _ one _ of my heavy hitters into a building with a kick.” The ring leader said as she brushed at her bangs and posed with the egg “you see, you’re not dealing with the aaaverage bandit crow ho ho!” Her eyes glinted a bit but it was going down again as she forced her vision back up. 

“For we....  _ we _ ...  **we** ....” she stared at the scene as she groaned, pinching her brow dramatically. 

“... ok no I can’t do this, do you really have to be that  _ naked _ ? Do you have like... no shame?? How am I supposed to do my  **Super Evil Introduction** with you like that like, you’re wearing a net. You couldn’t at least use it on something important. Utter brutes out here I tell you! Right Pionne?”

“Right boss” said the big woman with beady eyes as she was throwing a yoshi to the side and aimed the gun to bowser 

“Ready to fire boss?”

“Mmm considering it” said the boss as she furrowed her brows and was holding the egg up like it was a prop, almost pouting at the whole conundrum. Bowser ignored the naked comment as she slowly turned to look the big woman with the gun, her face turning to a sinister smile 

“Nice Gun” as she crouched down to reveal the ever so excited joan on her back, the pure gleeful murder energy radiating from the bonzai girl took Pionne back as bowser said with the smallest bit of sadistic glee herself.

“Here's  **_Mine”_ **

“... uhm.. B..boss. Can people… uh… still explodey and stuff??” Pionne slowly looked jessicra who seemed to bark at her minion 

“ _ Who cares pineapple head! Just shoot in case she can!! _ Besides, it’s probably all talk anyways Cra Ha Ha HA!” The pineapple head was aiming the gun at the duo but was definitely hesitant on setting off the duo. Alas it was too late, Joan was launched at her. In a manic bullet state she was able to break the binds she slammed pionne into the ground as she focused on punching pionne repeatedly with loud maniacal laugh. 

The Boss looked a bit worried and exclaimed.

“Ok Baby? Can you get and handle the psycho bullet?!” 

Bowser shouted at the statue of a girl as she went to deck Baby back into the ground.

“Lola! Get the Eggs!!” 

The call seemed to snap Lola out of her trance to chase after the boss for the eggs, since it couldn’t be that bad? Right?? 

Baby laughed after being punched in the face, her face showing glee before it started to turn into a screen of numbers doing a fast countdown which seemed to cause bowser to flinch as she was expecting an explosion but instead she got kicked back which caused a save. Thankfully the rope shell never fail, and hopefully it’ll never do so. Baby was getting up to rub at her screen as it was showing a skull

“[ You’re cute but you’re a nuisance turtle girlie, try not to get into the fire... or do! I would love to see you blow up!] ” she gave a smug chortle as she was pulling out two bombs, however with a menacing grin the queen of explosions, her violence, her bruteness had grabbed onto the bombs as well. Her hands clasped over baby’s as her face twist into a menacing smirk, the fuse of bombs seemed to light up those fiery eyes as she seemed to retort.

“Well then, Let’s see how that goes”

The robotic girl’s confidence never wavered as her smirk mirrored the sadistic pleasure and confidence that was shared by one staring contest as she uttered a cheery line.

“[ Sure! Make my job easier, I’ll enjoy watching you explode]”

**Author's Note:**

> Hi there and thank you for reading the fic! I always really wanted to play around with the concept of bowsette so I guess this is just my take on things, I hope you guys enjoy this and are excited to see where it goes
> 
> Credit for help with this fic goes to Foremem on discord and deviantart, https://www.deviantart.com/foremem


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